Tag Archives: model

Jun 29

“Staying in POV” by Mary Deal

Staying in POV
by
Mary Deal

Let’s say your story is being told from Sadie’s point of view. She’s your main character. As the story progresses, you have her friend approach and you write it like this:

Jeremy walked straight toward her. “Great to see you, Sadie.” His words couldn’t express what he was thinking. She had lost all that weight and bordered on having a model’s figure. Now he really wanted to bed her. He decided he’d treat her real sweet this time.

Notice that the above paragraph tells us what Jeremy is thinking. He is not the main character. Sadie is the main character. She cannot possibly know what Jeremy is thinking, so you cannot include it written that way.

You can, however, have Sadie read Jeremy’s facial expression and mannerisms and react to it from her point of view. She can show the reader what Jeremy does that will tell the reader what’s on Jeremy’s mind. What Jeremy may think and feel doesn’t have to be spelled out. It can be interpreted by the main character. Like this:

Sadie watched Jeremy walk toward her. His sauntering gait gave him enough time to notice her new figure and to feel his glands working as he eyed her from head to toe and back again. She knew him. He’d always made innuendoes about wanting to hop in bed again and renewing their sorry relationship.

“Great to see you, Sadie,” Jeremy said. His eyes had that hungry look. He always looked that way, as if sex was the only thing her image triggered in his mind. Maybe it was, but being used and cast aside was no longer part of her new image of self-respect.

Sadie stepped away when he reached for her. “Don’t try to touch me, Jerry. We washed up a long time ago and you’re still trying to own me.”

Jeremy’s expression went hollow. “You got me all wrong,” he said. The corner of his mouth twitched. That always happened when he was faced with the truth.

Staying in the POV character’s head gives you a chance to create a character with some smarts, at least, enough to intuit other characters’ actions and thoughts. It also gives you a greater chance of added detail and some interesting fleshing out of your prose that makes the action come alive. Notice that in the above short paragraphs, Jeremy actually confirms what Sadie has interpreted from him. It’s much more interesting.

Please visit Mary Deal’s website for more wonderful articles like this one: Write Any Genre. Read More

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Nov 13

Larry Brooks, Psychological Thriller Writer, Stops by Mike Angley’s Website

I’d like to welcome my guest-blogger, Larry Brooks, to the Child Finder Trilogy blog. Larry is a novelist, screenwriter and writing instructor. He has published six critically-acclaimed thrillers, one of which was a USA Today bestseller and another named to Publishers Weekly “Best Books of 2004″ list after a starred review. In addition to leading writing workshops, he runs an instructional writing website, www.storyfix.com. Read More

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Nov 11

Mike Angley Interviews Rabbi Ilene Schneider, Mystery Writer

I’d like to welcome Rabbi Ilene Schneider, Ed.D as my guest-blogger today. She tells me she hasn’t decided yet what (or who) she wants to be when she grows up! In her current incarnation, she is Coordinator of Jewish Hospice for Samaritan Hospice in Marlton, NJ, near Philadelphia. She was one of the first six women ordained as a rabbi in the US, back in 1976. Interested in nature and conservation, she is a member of the New Jersey Audubon Society and the Pinelands Preservation Alliance, and, as an avid reader, is on the board of the Friends of the Evesham Library. Read More

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