Tag Archives: mannerisms

Jun 29

“Staying in POV” by Mary Deal

Staying in POV
by
Mary Deal

Let’s say your story is being told from Sadie’s point of view. She’s your main character. As the story progresses, you have her friend approach and you write it like this:

Jeremy walked straight toward her. “Great to see you, Sadie.” His words couldn’t express what he was thinking. She had lost all that weight and bordered on having a model’s figure. Now he really wanted to bed her. He decided he’d treat her real sweet this time.

Notice that the above paragraph tells us what Jeremy is thinking. He is not the main character. Sadie is the main character. She cannot possibly know what Jeremy is thinking, so you cannot include it written that way.

You can, however, have Sadie read Jeremy’s facial expression and mannerisms and react to it from her point of view. She can show the reader what Jeremy does that will tell the reader what’s on Jeremy’s mind. What Jeremy may think and feel doesn’t have to be spelled out. It can be interpreted by the main character. Like this:

Sadie watched Jeremy walk toward her. His sauntering gait gave him enough time to notice her new figure and to feel his glands working as he eyed her from head to toe and back again. She knew him. He’d always made innuendoes about wanting to hop in bed again and renewing their sorry relationship.

“Great to see you, Sadie,” Jeremy said. His eyes had that hungry look. He always looked that way, as if sex was the only thing her image triggered in his mind. Maybe it was, but being used and cast aside was no longer part of her new image of self-respect.

Sadie stepped away when he reached for her. “Don’t try to touch me, Jerry. We washed up a long time ago and you’re still trying to own me.”

Jeremy’s expression went hollow. “You got me all wrong,” he said. The corner of his mouth twitched. That always happened when he was faced with the truth.

Staying in the POV character’s head gives you a chance to create a character with some smarts, at least, enough to intuit other characters’ actions and thoughts. It also gives you a greater chance of added detail and some interesting fleshing out of your prose that makes the action come alive. Notice that in the above short paragraphs, Jeremy actually confirms what Sadie has interpreted from him. It’s much more interesting.

Please visit Mary Deal’s website for more wonderful articles like this one: Write Any Genre. Read More

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Mar 30

Becoming an Actor…an Article by Mary Deal

Become an Actor
by
Mary Deal

Quite often, I hear people say that they have a lot of difficulty when writing dialogue. Here are some tips for improving dialogue and making it a snap to write:

1) Know the character you have established.

* Is your character male or female?
* In what time period is your setting?
* Is your character laid back or a Type A personality who’s always jittery?
* What is your character’s purpose in the story?

2) Assuming you know the above facts about your character, they can only speak one way.

* Write a line of dialogue.
* Then stand in front of a mirror and become an actor.
* Put yourself in that character’s mind.
* Be the character.
* Speak the line.
* Gesture when you speak.
* Use facial gestures.
* Try speaking the dialogue in difference accents or drawls.
* You already know the basics of your character and the particular scenes, so you won’t find too many ways he or she can speak.

3) As you speak, try changing the words of the sentence of dialogue.

* Try saying the same thing in a different way.

4) Act out the characters parts.

* Be one or more characters interchangeably.
* Interact and speak the lines of each.
* Your mind will automatically “round out” what is needed.
* You may decide instead of a character with stilted language, he or she becomes relaxed and easy going.
* Each state of mind produces different ways of speaking.

You may find that your character also changes in personality. Be careful here. If you’ve completed your story and then change a character’s mannerisms, which may affect personality, you may need to make a sweep through the entire story to bring that character in line with the new image you’ve created. But if that’s what it takes to make your story hum, you do it.

Chances are, you won’t make sweeping changes with this technique unless they are needed. You will simply find new ways to put some zing into the dialogue.

Please visit Mary Deal’s website for more wonderful articles like this one: Write Any Genre. Read More

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Mar 09

Character Mannerisms as Told by Mary Deal

Character Mannerisms
by
Mary Deal

In fleshing out the narrative of a story, writers need to describe mannerisms of the characters. These gestures and habits help the reader know your story people and what makes them tick. The actions each character performs must be in accordance with the scene and their responses to it.

These seemingly innocent extras that the writer adds must be accurate. Readers, especially avid readers, know when something isn’t right as the plot moves along. A wrong point or description can stick in the readers mind and distract from their ability to suspend disbelief and to lose themselves in a story.

An example might be when you have your character making physical gestures. When they roll their eyes, make sure it fits what you having them doing. Neurolinguistics teaches that a person rolls their eyes to the left if telling a lie, also known as constructed (made up) information. So if your character is telling a lie, make sure you don’t say he rolled his eyes to the right, which is from where remembered (true) information is pulled in.

Instead of being so detailed, which necessitates accuracy, you might simply want to say something like:

“He rolled his eyes, looking disgusted, and then studied the papers again.”

That’s a simple sentence that not only provides a good description of what is happening with the character at that moment, but also allows the reader to feel the character’s emotion.

A different example is if you have a left-handed cop. You might assume all cops in your story are right-handed, but suppose you make your cop character different. To flesh out his actions, you might want to add something to the fact that in spite of being an awkward left-hander, he was an award winning sharp-shooter quicker than lightning with his left handed draw. His left hand draw was quicker than any of the right handed cops on the force.

To include something like this about the cop does not and perhaps should not all be added when the cop first enters the story. Defining actions and gestures such as these are parsed out throughout the story whenever a scene allows for them. Perhaps with the cop, he might be identified as a sharp-shooter early in the story. Deeper into the story when the scene dictates him drawing his service revolver quickly, the rest could be added. Breaking up the information like this adds cohesiveness to the telling of the tale. Readers will remember that he was a sharp-shooter and will feel the connectedness to this character.

As with psychological aspects such as rolling the eyes in one direction or another, or other physical gestures, these must be accurate or they should not be included if the writer is unsure about the legitimacy of the facts.

Keep your readers in mind at all times during the writing of a story. Know that readers have read enough stories to know when an author is weak in their research.

Please visit Mary Deal’s website for more wonderful articles like this one: Write Any Genre. Read More

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Feb 09

So How Do You Lose Words? Just Ask Mary Deal

More Words to Lose
by
Mary Deal

Have you ever really listened to people talking? We writers should do that all the time. It’s one of the reasons we love to people watch, not to eavesdrop but to learn about fascinating accents, jargon and colloquialisms that could add zing to the characters in our fiction.

In becoming aware of how people talk, on a daily basis I hear words and phrases that make me cringe. Call me a purest. Call me obsessive compulsive. I shake my head when I hear anyone say, “I told him, I said…” What is the purpose of being redundant? “I told him” and “I said” mean exactly the same thing.

“I told him, I said, be careful.”

“She told me, she said she didn’t like my cooking.”

I sigh when I hear a person saying “basically” before starting each new sentence they speak.

“Basically, what you need to know is where to start.”

“Basically, the mystery started with a nondescript clue.”

As you can see in the above two examples, the sentences do not need the word basically at all.

Dislikes such as these are at the top of my list to get hit with the delete button in my compositions.

Language takes on a different aura in dialogue if you have established that one of your characters actually speaks this way: “Basically, ma’am, I’m here to learn the truth and that’s all.” Still, it would be very off-putting to the reader if your character started all or lots of his dialogue with that dreaded word. Correctly portrayed, you would have set up the character’s speaking personality as, perhaps, slow and as being a methodical thinker and that one word used once or twice would then enhance his speech mannerisms.

However, my writing is not yet perfect either. I must continually be vigilant for sentence starters like: “She thought….” or “He said….”

She thought she wanted to go along.

He said he didn’t want to go.

When writing from the main character’s point of view, the reader will be in that character’s mind, seeing the story action from his or her point of view. The reader will be thinking the character’s thoughts. At least that’s what happens if our writing is good enough to draw the reader in. Starting sentences with phrases like “She thought” is, again, redundant. All a writer need do is state the character’s thought: She wanted to go along. Immediately, we feel or sense the character’s desire without being told it’s a thought.

Deleting unnecessary words and phrases helps greatly when word count matters and it really does, not to mention cleaning up a manuscript.

If in a case like “He said…,” instead of saying “He said he didn’t want to go along,” put what the character said in actual dialogue: “I want to go too,” he said. That’s unless you’re relating a past experience. Even then, you would simply say: He wanted to go along.

Any time you catch yourself telling what this or that character said, most of the time what the character said should be put in dialogue, instead of the writer “second-hand” telling the reader what was spoken.

I continue to be amazed at how people in my own circle of friends and family use these incorrect phrases. But then, they are not writers who need be astute at the verbiage they commit into stories. They are just being themselves, and that’s just fine with me. They give me a lot to think about and I am grateful that they can just be themselves with me and not worry that I am going to correct their every spoken word.

Please visit Mary Deal’s website for more wonderful articles like this one: Write Any Genre. Read More

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Mar 24

Mary Deal Pens Great Writing Advice: “When I’m Stuck”

Let it be known that I never have the dreaded writer’s block. But sometimes I do get stuck. It may be from working on too many projects at once.

I usually work on more projects than I can complete, though my main focus is on one or two at a time. When I’m stuck I play a trick on my mind. I begin working on a different project. Seems my mind can’t help throwing out random bits and pieces of information for lots of different stories. So all I have to do is work on something else and what I need for the story I prefer to work on then comes to mind.

When I’m stuck writing anything to do with a character – maybe dialogue – I stand in front of a mirror—have one right beside my desk— and practice the gestalt of the character’s situation. That is, I speak the dialogue to myself in the mirror until I sound like the character. It also helps to gesture like the character when I speak. Then I include those words and gestures verbatim in the story. Including those mannerisms, too, enhances the character’s personality because I can actually see my character in the scene as I act out his or her part.

If anyone were to watch me and not understand, they would think me nuts!

Please visit Mary Deal’s website for more wonderful articles like this one: Write Any Genre. Read More

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