I am excited to post — with permission, of course — an article that Mary Deal has put together with her perspective on foreshadowing. I told her when she sent me the article that I love this particular literary device, and I’m pretty good at spotting it when I read. Because I can spot it so well, when I write my own stories, I try to use it with great subtlety. In fact, I like to sprinkle foreshadowing dust in my books, and then pull the foreshadowed hints together like a bunch of threads at the climax to the story. Read More
Tag Archives: composition
When you write your first draft, perhaps you simply write whatever comes out just to get the ideas onto the page. You know you’ll go back time and time again to get it polished just right. Maybe you polish your sentences or paragraphs before going onto the next one. Then, after all your editing, you feel something is still lacking. Maybe it’s the way you phrase the action. Maybe it’s a simple matter like your choice of words.
To help you make your prose as descriptive as possible without sounding flowery, read your composition again and look for specific words that could be replaced with descriptive VERBS that zero in on the exact action taking place.
I’m no stranger to getting the first word out that comes to mind and then needing to go back and clean up my grammar. Here are some samples from the novel I’m presently writing. I first wrote this:
Afterward, she went on her way.
If you write a sentence like this, ask yourself, How did she go? Instead of went describe her movements or gait:
Afterward, she sauntered away.
Afterward, she slipped away
Read this phrase:
Danced across the floor
Danced is a descriptive word, but it’s also a little common and could refer to many, many ways of dancing. How about…
Did a two-step across the floor
Waltzed across the floor
She felt around the floor of the car, trying to find the cell phone
Felt is also quite common.
She groped around the seat and on the floor of the car…
She slid her hand between the seats
Although a lot of emotion can be stirred just reading certain words they, too, can be made more descriptive. Replace this:
The thought of dying came to mind.
…with something like this:
The thought of bleeding to death came to mind
The thought of succumbing to coma, never to wake again, came to mind.
The above has two words to watch. We could have used:
The thought of slipping into a coma… instead, succumbing is more dramatic than gently slipping into a coma. Slipping hints at the character gently fading. Succumbing tells us she would put up a gallant fight to stay alive until, perhaps, more powerful forces overtook her. It’s more dramatic.
Here’s another sentence with two words:
The fireman holding up her head managed to get his upper body through the open windshield space.
The fireman supporting her head managed to squeeze his upper body through the open windshield space.
All of the words replaced above, and many, many more, are common words. The actions need to be exactly defined, made more exciting with better, more descriptive verbs and adverbs if your grammar is to stand out.
Your prose must sing and dance off the page. Anytime you describe what a character does, always check to see if a more descriptive word might apply. Using words that better show the exact actions that your character performs helps your reader become the character. That’s exactly what great prose does.
Please visit Mary Deal’s website for more wonderful articles like this one: Write Any Genre. Read More
Get Away From That Story
What writers visualize for a plot, and what they actually write into a story, may be two different versions.
Most writers know their stories by heart, including every single bit of researched information they learn before they write the first draft. With a lengthy manuscript, writers cannot and should not include all of the facts they hold in memory. When the writer re-reads the manuscript some time later, it is normal to wonder if readers will perceive what they, the writer, intended to say, according to the scant details they selectively included in order to write lean.
When writers write as fresh creativity flows, they visualize much more of the story in their minds than makes it to paper or monitor screen. Details crowd their thinking, yet, they actually write only carefully selected scenes and dialog that move the story along.
Writers like to think they have included all of what they have learned about their subject. They hope they are presenting the material in such a way that the reader will understand. To be the best judge of that, time away from the story allows a writer to determine if they got their point across. This is something very difficult to determine after having just completed a first draft. Reading at a later time allows a fresh view of the overall composition. The writer becomes a reader instead of the author, and determines whether the story was told as originally intended. Only then can the areas that need fleshing out, cut or re-written be seen.
Many writers may find that what was in their minds and what they actually wrote are two separate versions of the same story. Remembering all the information gained through research before the writing, and later seeing what’s been included in the story, tighter editing can begin anew. Read More
About a year ago, I edited an accumulation of short stories for a client. Last week he contacted me and asked why his writing had not been accepted anywhere. I told him to bring his CD over and let’s take a quick look at the stories again. Maybe I missed something in my edits. He arrived this morning carrying a thick folder full of rumpled and dog eared paper manuscripts. Read More